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The seas inside Josh Adams are black.
"Please... I don't want to remember. Don't make me think about this again... Don't..."The current drags Josh under even as he thrashes trying to keep his head above water...
"Can't this damn thrashing stop?! It hurts. It hurts. It hurts. It hurts. It hurts."A sudden riptide pulls him far from everything he's ever known.
"We've found a school for you," his mom (or was it his dad? Things were so hazy that week...) tells him one evening, a few months after he'd learned his stupid prep school wouldn't take him back.
"It's overseas. Work is having me go out to several various plants throughout Europe for the next couple years," his dad adds. "I'll be able to justify checking in if there's an emergency. Josh groans inwardly. His parents are shipping him overseas and his dad is grateful it's not too much of an inconvenience? Whatever.The water of the black seas is cold as ice.
"They don't care. I really am alone. I should've known," he chants this to himself like a mantra. Tears would be fitting but the the whole thing is so ironic he can't help but laugh. Bitterly but it is still amusing in an ironic way.The next time he goes under the waves, he doesn't bother trying to resurface.
"We're sure you'll get better here, we're counting on it," his mom says, dad having been to busy to see him to the plane. Things she doesn't say, I love you, it'll be okay, we'll miss you, buzz around him. He doesn't cry. He's long since cried himself out over his parents.The blackness of the water surrounds him. The cold seeps deep into his bones.
Nothing's gonna change, not even there. I should accept it. No one wants me anyways.A small patch of the water brightens almost imperceptibly.
"Welcome to St. Dymphna's! I'm Ela Sahin," a pretty girl with a beret says, on his first day of his new life.Josh kicks toward the dim light, weakly.
"Josh," he says, not really looking at her. "Josh Adams. Nice to meet you."Josh's head breaks the surface, gasping for breath.
He didn't know how he found himself in a tuxedo, considering he loathed wearing them. Fake, not me, a stranger in my skin. Those were just a few of the politer words for how he felt about himself in formal wear. But after everything Ela had done to help him feel welcome and good in his first couple weeks, he felt like he had no right to refuse her.A searchlight shines its light on the black waves, on Josh. He waves frantically, trying to draw attention.
"You came!" Ela Sahin says excitedly. The student council president looks lovelier than usual on this particular evening, in a gold dress that is very flattering. Josh does his best not to stare.The light draws closer and a life preserver is flung from it's source, a rescue boat. Josh Adams pulls it over himself like he was seconds from drowning. He may very well have been.
Josh finds himself asking her if they can spend more time together and receives a warm smile for his efforts. There may or may not be light sparking in his eyes for the first time in awhile.Josh Adams is on a boat, out of the water. It still calls to him though, the black seas inside him that are almost like home. He knows there will always be another current, another massive wave. Storms will always hover on the horizon, crashing in when he's unprepared. But he swam in the water before it became too much, maybe one day he will again.
"It's a nice day to steal Ponyta."