Snake - How We Got Here

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Snake - How We Got Here

Post by PKMNthiefChris »

"Stop shaking, Josh!"

"Mr. Adams, if you don't stop disrupting the class, I'll have to ask you to leave."

Stop it, stop it! I screamed at myself silently as classmates and teachers chided me, as my body shook like an electric current was passing through me. I'm trying to focus on keeping my body at some level of stillness but even when I stopped it there was a buzz in my head. The feeling was like trying to hold a writhing snake with one hand and keep it perfectly still, without killing it, at the same time. My body started to twitch even more violently as my frustration with the situation took over, eventually leading me to give up and just leave the class room.

I'm sitting on the floor next to my old friend the toilet, my shaking still raging out of control again. My neck and shoulders are starting to ache now and I feel a little sick to my stomach. Tourette's is a pain, and even here at Griffon Prep, a school for kids with problems, no one wants to deal with me. They told my parents not to send me back until my "reaction" stopped. My parents citing the policies of this stupid school and that treatments invariably gave me worse problems said they couldn't make me stay home. I don't know if my parents are naive, don't want to waste the money they spent to get me here, or both. This stupid place does what it wants and if you can be so messed up they don't want to deal with you, you don't get to be here. If you are here you know you're not wanted.

It's funny, huh? Griffon Prep is supposed to exist to take the kids no school wants. You can be the girls and guys fucking your way through the school during a school lock in, you can be a drug addict, you can change the damn clock to get out of class earlier, along with several other things but if you're the quiet kid who half way through junior year starts shaking at rapid speed, no one wants you around. Even if they like you, they don't want you there unless you can reign yourself in. My Tourette's had only gotten diagnosed recently around the same time, go figure, my shaking had gotten out of hand. It meant more pills when I finally could stop my old ones but I wasn't sure it mattered anymore. It wasn't like they made things better, most transformed my shake into a worse tic, like coughing to the point of projectile vomiting or eyes rolling so much I couldn't even see. It would be like a wizard trying to help you fight a snake... by turning the snake into a fucking dragon. Yes, you're no longer dealing with a snake but you're fighting a much stronger enemy that will hurt you more than the original ever could've. My "dragons" certainly humiliated me more than the "snake" did. Vomit on my clothes, on the walls, on my homework... Not being able to see, bumping into walls, into people... But the teachers wouldn't put up with my "snake" either.

At this point? I know they just want me gone. It's the writing on the wall. My mom and dad are way past their wits' end too. I don't think Pop understands how I can be like this, I'm his echo after all, we look just alike, I'm just as smart as him (so he claims), and we have the same personality (so he says). He doesn't have tics, so how can his echo have tics? Mom is too busy worrying about my future to really be thinking about my present. They're trying though, for once, and they deserve credit for that. But when medicines tend not to help at best and create worse problems at worst, my parents don't have any more options than I do. Especially since the school isn't willing to help out and wants me gone.

There's really nothing left for me here. Maybe there never was to begin with, but there sure isn't now. I go to school only to start ticing and getting told to stop or get out, I never can stop it so I get sent out. Eventually they call my mom and send me home, I have to stay home a day or two as per the school's orders and pretend it gets better and go back to school. I go to school already holding my snake back and eventually it thrashes free. Rinse and repeat for the better part of six months. Occasionally I try a new medicine and get gnawed on by one of the dragons and get sent home from school. Nothing changes and what was once okay becomes monotonous which becomes painful.

I'm not allowed back in class after lunch when the fits don't stop for any extended period of time. Mom gets called and I get sent home with a letter in tow. I don't have to read it to know what it says but it'll remain sealed till dad gets home. He sent me a text about exciting news when mom picked me up. I hope the inevitable doesn't kill his excitement.
"It's a nice day to steal Ponyta."

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