So I am now proposing an open thread to where forum users can openly discuss their problems or any disorders that they might have. I'm sorry for repeating the word "disorder", but it seems to me that using euphemisms seems to create a counter-effect. (Unless there are other effective ways of talking about this, in which case please tell me).
Now, I understand that some of you might not have any disorders, but we all have days where we feel down or undergo a deep thought or change. You can discuss and talk about them here if you would like.
I do however feel that though this may be an open discussion, there has to be some limits (or guidelines) on HOW open this should be, but I think that we are all mature enough to understand and sympathize with each other. In other words, please don't troll, and please do not flame. Some of us are very sensitive, even though this is the Internet. Humor is allowed, but please keep in mind the affected parties.
Note that some of us are on medications, and that you SHOULD NOT advise anybody to stop their doses. I had a friend who stopped too early on his anti-depressants, and the lack of the right amount chemicals put him in the hospital after a suicide attempt where he eventually died.
Speaking of suicide, please do not advise someone to commit suicide or post instructions on how to go about this on this thread. Discussion of methods (if allowed) can be discussed somewhere else on the forum. Such discussion will not be tolerated.
Final note (and yes, FINAL):
Keep in mind that this is a thread to help others GAIN INSIGHT and to HELP EACH OTHER in general. I don't want to be a stickler, and I want to keep the thread as open as possible so that we may see things in a different light. Also, keep in mind that most of us are not psychologists or therapists or psychiatrists, unless you actually are one.
P.S. If there is a thread like mine already, the mods are free to remove this. You're also free to edit this if you like, but please try to keep the bulk of it, or maybe my main points. Also, there is a wall of text after this. You don't have to read it, skimming it is fine. I tend to type a lot.
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I'll start I guess. My therapists and psychiatrists say that I have schizoaffective disorder. I'm not entirely sure what it is EXACTLY but I have some of the kinks down. I was born in '90 and as far as I can recall I began to act strangely around my last year of middle school (8th grade I think). I always felt isolated and far away from people, although my friends were close by. I had a few relationships, but only one of them felt real to me, and that was the first one. She actually left without a word thinking that it would be easier for both of us, but it had the opposite effect. She moved to a faraway state. I thought I felt fine, so I just carried on with life, dating other girls along the way, but the feeling was never there so I broke it off with them. The hole left behind the first girl never healed. During this time I also noticed that I would get auditory hallucinations that would scare the pants off of me since I would turn around and nothing was there. I always heard a sound similar to muffled speech. My closest description would be like they were someone who called my name, but it was so muffled and I could barely hear it. Actually it wasn't muffled, it sounded blurred like how movies have some dream scenes where everything sounds dreamy. Hard to describe actually. It always came out like a woooOOOOHHH sound. I noticed that right before sleeping it was more common. Over time, I came along 4chan (the earliest I came along was before it had Captchas and such) and browsed mainly /a/ and /b/. I started to turn to anime to try and fill the gap left by my first love. I kept telling myself that this hole I felt was due to my hormones and that I was too young for this. As I got older, I began to have a Facebook account and soon added her. Turns out, she moved on fairly quickly. My young self was shattered. To think that I had believed in something that turned out to be fake. Well, little did I know, it wasn't fake. I genuinely loved her (from her blue eyes, her soft voice, her compassion for all things cute and anime), but I thought it best to let her live her own life (she's probably the cause of me liking anime, without her, I never would have been hooked to it). Skip to the now, where I started to isolate myself for the sake of others and started to go to therapy because I was advised by one of my closest friends as I started to see how she suffered from being around me too long. Honest to god, I love her because she's always been there for me when I was sad. I knew she had an affection for me in the past (don't know if its still their at the same level or if its pity now), and it pains me to see her not be able to be with me. I can feel her slipping away at times. I feel like a burden to her. I'm kind of hard to be around for long periods of time (like a month). I tend to lose my temper fairly fast, but this is probably due to a frustration with myself and it is manageable. I have more friends now (still not a lot, it's maybe around 20 people, probably less that consider ME as a friend to them), and I go to work normally now. I still have crazy mood swings that last for weeks a swing (if that makes sense). I took therapy for a while, and have been taking small doses of anti-psychotics for a long time. I am CONSIDERABLY better than I was before. I am thankful, otherwise college would have been a crappier experience for me (I mean it still is. I'm still stuck in my dorm sometimes due to my social fear of... well social stuff). Sorry for typing so much. A lot has happened to me and I did a lot to try and overcome it. One of it was writing stories. I'm currently writing a story in which I have writer's block, so if you guys want to see it, I'll gladly post it.